The Nursing Home
With the average cost for an old age
home reaching $188.00 per day,
there is a better way when we get
old & feeble.
I have ascertained that I can get
a nice room at the Holiday Inn
for around $65.00...
That leaves $123.00 a day for beer,
food (room service),laundry,
gratuities and special TV movies.
They have a swimming pool,
a workout room, washer, dryer, etc.
Most have free toothpaste and razors,
and all have free shampoo and soap.
Super 8 is somewhat cheaper and
they have a free breakfast,
though you usually have to walk
next door for lunch and dinner.
There may be a bit of a wait to get
that first floor room, but that' s OK,
it takes months to get into a home.
There is the Senior Bus,
the Handicapped bus
(if you fake a decent limp),
a Church bus or van, cabs,
and even a regular bus.
For a change of lunch take the
Airport Bus and eat at one
of the fast food cafe's there.
The Inn has security,
and if someone sees you drop,
they will call an ambulance.
And should you break a hip,
the American Way is to Sue.
What more can you ask for?
As a bonus, they all have AARP
and other Senior discounts.
When I reach the Golden age,
help me keep my grin
Just check my old rickety butt
into the nearest Holiday Inn!